Home | Blog | Development | true needs

Development | true needs

“You have needs – satisfy them.” Fydor Dostoyevsky

Our Enneagram subtypes, formed when the passion or emotional pattern of our type intersects with our most active instinct – and there may be more than one active instinct – is fundamentally a distortion of our real needs. If you fully explore your true needs in the three instinctual areas – self-preservation, social and one-to-one – and compare these real needs with how you currently go about meeting them, you can replace these less-than-satisfying way of meeting your needs with your true needs. Those you can satisfy! Here are the questions to ask yourself and to answer:

Self-preservation needs

What do I truly need to feel safe and secure – not what I think I need or what my unworked fears might suggest I need – in the following areas: financial, housing, cars, clothing, food, physical safety and risk?

How do I currently act in response to these needs?

To what extent is that way I currently act getting me what I actually need in these areas?

What work do I need to do on myself to reclaim my real needs, not my false needs?

Social needs

What do I truly need in terms of social groupings and social support – not what I think I need or what my unworked anxieties lead me to believe I need – in the following areas: social respect, social support, social ease and acceptance, and relationship to social groups?

How do I currently act in response to these needs?

To what extent is that way I currently act getting me what I actually need in these areas?

What work do I need to do on myself to reclaim my real needs, not my false needs?

One-to-one needs

What do I truly need in terms of one-to-one relationships, particularly ones that feel close and intimate – not what I think I need or what my unworked concerns lead me to believe I need – in the following areas: number of relationships, relationship quality, expectations and desires, and commitment and endurance?

How do I currently act in response to these needs?

To what extent is that way I currently act getting me what I actually need in these areas?

What work do I need to do on myself to reclaim my real needs, not my false needs?

 

Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.comginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

Leave a Reply

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of
X