In the part 1 blog, the model of love in the 3 centers describes love from this perspective, but how do we use this understanding that each center plays a key role in conscious love? This blog, part 2, helps answer that question.

Appreciate our own way
It reminds us to appreciate ourselves for the ways that we express love from each of our centers. It’s the right thing to do to acknowledge how we care about the people in our lives. Even when we do not feel appreciated by another, we can appreciate ourselves. This reinforces the neural pathways that sustain and develop our capacity to love.

Appreciate our journey and progress

Knowing how we express love reminds us to get there in the moment. We can remember to pause, breathe and bring our attention to one or more of our centers to extend ourselves a bit more in our caring for the other. We may be able to shift our internal state so as to open up our ability to express love in the moment. It may not be very far away.

Commit to our growth and expanding use of our 3 centers
We can stay interested and committed to loving from each of our centers. A central goal of the Enneagram work is to access our full potential as human beings. This takes a lot of work over time. Loving others gives us a powerful motivation for continuing our work on ourselves.

“We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love.” by Sigmund Freud

Questions for reflection and observation
How do we love people? How might this be different with a friend, a child, a sibling, a parent, or a sexual or romantic partner?
Which center or centers are we using when we love, and how are we using them?
How do we want to be loved, and what is most important to us among being loved from the three centers?
How is the need for security part of love? How does it get in the way?
In which relationship(s) are we called on to develop more capacity in the head center, the heart center, the body center?
How can we develop more presence in each center?

Helen Palmer | more food for thought
“The topic … is love, and a commonly asked question is “what is it?” The spiritual traditions have a great deal to say about this, that love is a state of mind and a state of being rather than an attraction or a passing thing. That love can be accessed and lived in rather than being just a transitory guest. Well, where is it? And if there is such a thing as living in an enduring state of love, how do I get there? These are the seminal questions that seekers begin to ask themselves. Meditation is a good place to begin. With practice, it will lead us to a state of no suffering that can only be termed love.”

Peter O’Hanrahan is an Enneagram teacher, body therapist, business consultant, and Senior Member of the Enneagram in Business Network (EIBN) who teaches internationally and also works closely with the Enneagram Worldwide and the Palmer/Daniels Enneagram Professional Training Program. You can visit his website at EnneagramWork.com | POhanrahan@aol.com