What’s obvious; what’s not | Type 4
Sometimes stating the obvious can be a good reminder about each Enneagram type; sometimes we forget what is most apparent. There are also aspects of each type that are not-as-obvious, yet quite intriguing. This 9-part blog series, one for each Enneagram type, reviews three central and obvious aspects of each Enneagram type. You can also use the YouTube link below to hear and see three non-obvious features of this type.
Envy, the passion or emotional habit for Fours, is as pervasive as it is continuous. It so permeates their outlook that some Fours don’t even recognize it as envy. They think, “Doesn’t everyone react like this?” Actually, not everyone does this or does this so continuously. Envy refers to the Fours’ constant comparison of self to others – as in, someone has something I am missing; why not me? – with Fours often coming up short, which feeds their sense of deficiency. On occasion, Fours compare and think they are better than the other person, so envy can also result in feelings of superiority. Often, if the envy leads to self-negation, Fours will try to rectify the situation by gaining what they perceive the other person as having, or at least something similar to it.
Longing for something they either don’t have or no longer have is a strikingly familiar feeling for Fours, a feeling Fours enjoy on one hand and distresses them on the other hand. Longing leads to melancholy, a bitter but sweet feeling in the heart that has an intrinsic element of beauty to it. This can be thought of as romanticized longing.
Fours struggle with being authentic, their true selves. Authenticity is one of their highest and deepest values, and they are constantly striving to express and be their authentic selves. They also strive for authentic relationships with others, becoming disheartened when/if these do not occur. But what is authenticity? For Fours, it is feelings-based; Fours believe “I am my feelings.” The dilemma is that feelings shift and can change by the hour, minute, and even second. As a result, so does the Fours’ sense of authentic self.
Truest feelings | Did you know that the Four’s real feelings are hidden beneath their expressed feelings?
Deep anger | Want to learn why Fours hold such deep anger?
Compassion | Did you know that Fours are among the most compassionate of the 9 Enneagram types?
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | firstname.lastname@example.org