Motivation, which can be an internal drive or an external stimulus, propels our behavior. It might be toward something we want or, conversely, away from something we don’t want.
Each Enneagram type comes with specific motivators, ones that propel people of that type forward in a specific direction, as well as key demotivators, intense avoidances that also drive their responses and behavior.
The core motivators and demotivators can be thought of as 1st level motivators and demotivators for each type. In addition, there are 2nd and 3rd level motivators for each type; 2nd level motivators are type-based improvements, while 3rd level motivators are deeper longings and high aspirations.
ENNEAGRAM TWOS
Core Motivator: Feeling appreciated and needed
Some think that this means Twos are seeking to be explicitly thanked for everything they do or that they want public appreciation in some form. Both assumptions would be incorrect. Twos want to feel appreciated when they do something for others, but want it to be in sincere gratitude, not in a particular form. Sincerity is the keyword. Consequently, a sincere smile is far better than a gratuitous thank-you note. Also, it doesn’t need to be public, and some Twos might find public thank yous to be embarrassing.
Core Demotivator: Feeling unworthy
Avoidances are often as strong or stronger than what we search for. If a Two believes that a person, an activity, a circumstance or just about anything is likely to make them feel unworthy, Twos will avoid being in this situation if at all possible. Often, this avoidance is based on a prior experience that was extremely negative and painful. So this is like an avoidance at almost all costs.
2nd Level Motivators: Helping and serving others
To better help and serve others is a key motivator, but to do so without feeling exhausted is even more so. Twos give away all kinds of resources, but often feel depleted in the process. This takes some conscious effort and boundary setting. Related to this is for Twos to be able to say no without feeling guilty, anxious, or angry. In other words, no remorse!
3rd Level Motivators: Reciprocal relationships
It is very important for Twos to develop relationships in which they can truly count on others. Twos try to be the person others can count on, but rarely find people who can do the same for them. Part of the reason is that Twos don’t ask for this kind of support, but, in addition, Twos set a high bar for what it means to be there for another. The other issue is that Twos struggle to be less dependent on the responses of others and more reliant on their own sense of real inner strength and solidity. They often confuse their dependency on others for affirmation with creating reciprocal relationships.
Next in this series will be the motivational structure for Enneagram Threes.
About Ginger
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, author of nine Enneagram books including The Art of Typing, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications. TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com
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