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Development | daring

I believe the most important single thing, beyond discipline and creativity is daring to dare  ~ Maya Angelou

Daring development for each enneagram type

ONES seek a perfect world and work diligently to improve both themselves and everyone and everything around them.

Make Intentional Mistakes
Select a relatively minor area in which you are especially orderly and perfectionist about, and purposely put things out of order or make a mistake. Once you do this, sit and relax. If you start to get agitated, laugh at yourself. Keep adding new mistakes or disorder, and follow the above process.

TWOS want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to orchestrate the people and events in their lives.

Say What You Think
Start with yourself: to thine own self be true. Write your truest thoughts on paper – that is, what you really think about the people in your life, the events that have occurred recently (or in the past), your work situation, and more. Then, read this list out loud to yourself, making sure you have complete privacy, and then adjust any thoughts and feelings you have written if, after saying them out loud, you realize you hadn’t really told the whole truth. And while you do all of the above, practice doing this without consideration of how others around you might respond.

THREES organize their lives around achieving specific goals in order to appear successful and to gain the respect and admiration of others.

Sit Still
This may sound like torture initially, but the benefit is enormous. Sit still for one half-hour. Just sit. Don’t watch television, write e-mails, or even listen to music. Sit in your home, the office, or on a park bench. Be still, resist the temptation to go and do something, and see what happens.

FOURS desire deep connections with both their own interior worlds and with other people, and feel most alive when they authentically express their personal experiences and feelings.

Enjoy Others’ Success
Make a list of 10 positive things that have happened to others you know in the past six months. Be very specific. Go through each item, think of all the details involved of which you are aware, and let yourself feel extremely happy for the individual involved, without either discounting the accomplishment or comparing your own success in any way. Repeat the above activity, with the exact same list, two more times. With each repetition, allow yourself to feel only increasing pleasure and joy for the other person.

FIVES thirst for knowledge and use emotional detachment as a way of keeping involvement with others at a minimum.

Stand in the Middle
Instead of being disengaged or staying on the periphery, stand or sit in the middle of social events or meetings. Make sure to look at others and smile, and make a statement or ask someone a question. These are all signs of engagement, as well as signals that you are open to interaction.

SIXES have insightful minds and create anticipatory or worst-case scenarios to help themselves feel prepared in case something goes wrong. Some are tentative, some engage in high-risk behavior to prove their fearlessness, and some do both.

Watch the Movie
Instead of fully engaging the dynamics and interactions with others that affect you directly or indirectly and trying to figure out what to do or not do, sit back and watch the movie of the situation (in your life at that moment) for one full hour. Stop trying to be the director and/or actor and tell yourself, “Just sit back and watch the movie!” You’ll be amazed how this frees you up and helps you know what to do, when to do it, and whether you even want to do so.

SEVENS crave the stimulation of new ideas, people, and experiences, avoid pain and discomfort, and create elaborate plans that will allow them to keep all of their options open.

Spend a Day in Complete Silence
This is an amazing adventure with no phones, no e-mails, and no conversations! Simply be with you for one entire day (24 hours) in complete silence. Your family can support you in this if you explain what you are doing and why. Explain that you are doing this to spend more time exploring what is occurring inside you. It is best to do this silent day alone, but if that is not possible, it’s OK if others say something to you. Just don’t talk or write in return.

EIGHTS pursue the truth, like to keep situations under control, want to make important things happen, and try to hide their vulnerability.

Make No Decisions
Decisions must be made every day, but for one day, let other people in your work, school, or home life make all the decisions big and small. This includes all the decisions you would normally make as well as those you would influence. As you go through this day, keep a list of all the decisions that occur that you would normally make or influence, the people who made them instead and with what result. At the end of the day, write down what you experienced by giving up decisions for the day. In essence, you gave up your control for one full day.

NINES seek peace, harmony, and positive mutual regard, and dislike conflict, tension, and ill will.

Be Controversial
Spend a day being controversial. Start a controversial conversation with someone. Take an opposing view and argue this position clearly and with conviction. Change your daily routine on purpose. If you normally awaken, exercise, have breakfast, and then walk the dog, reverse the order. Wake up, have breakfast, walk the dog, and then exercise. If you sit in the same chair during meals or at meetings, sit purposely in another chair.

Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of six best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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