“A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.” ~ David Whyte
Here are the ways you can invite others in when you communicate:
Use words that suggest flexibility and receptivity rather than words that are strong opinions or indicate categorical thinking of right and wrong.
Focus on yourself as much as on the other person; share more at different levels with different people so you are more in reciprocity.
Refer less to your own actions, achievements or yourself and show genuine curiosity about the other person.
Reduce the frequency of self-referencing words such as me, my, mine and I, while continuing your innate curiosity about others and allowing them to share at their comfort level.
Include some of your feelings in almost every communication, written or verbal and ask about the feelings of others.
Reduce the frequency of words you use that convey anxiety fear or worry, which will lessen people feeling they need to be concerned with what’s on your mind first.
Use complete sentences when you speak; listen to the thoughts of others until they have finished before you respond.
Specifically ask for responses from others and give others ample time to answer.
Share your ideas early while also soliciting what others think and feel.
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | firstname.lastname@example.org
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