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Development | receiving feedback


Ones | Put your self-critic on hold as you listen to what someone offers you as feedback, even when it is offered inelegantly.

Twos | Neither blame yourself nor blame the other person when you receive feedback that contradicts your sense of yourself as a thoughtful person; simply consider whether it is useful to you to know the information.

Threes | When you receive negative or constructive feedback, remember that the information does not mean you have failed; it is simply data for you to consider and take action on if you desire.

Fours | Be receptive to positive feedback instead of being overly responsive to negative feedback; digest positive feedback, consider it, and allow it to stay with you if you decide it is both true and useful.

Fives | Remember that when you receive feedback, whether it is positive or negative, there will likely be an emotional content to it; feelings are data, too, so they do matter even if you prefer feedback to be presented more rationally.

Sixes | When someone offers feedback that you take as a criticism, relax and listen; if you have extremely strong reactions to it, the other person may be less likely to offer you this information in the future.

Sevens | When someone offers you feedback, do everything to minimize the distractions that may occur so you can really hear the complete message; this includes external distractions, such as sounds and people, as well as in internal distractions, such as your mind going into many different directions.

Eights | Be as receptive to feedback from people you don’t respect as from people whom you hold in high regard; the former may have something just as important to offer you.

Nines | Remind yourself that negative feedback doesn’t mean the other person is angry with you and even if they are, it is not the end of your rapport or connection; this will also help you find your voice and share your reactions and opinions.

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