Worry is a pervasive undercurrent that limits us when habitual and on automatic. We become diminished in our ability to be fully present. Our focus of attention is split, and worry, ironically, dulls our awareness to real danger. This is in contrast to a conscious recognition of worry that alerts us to valid threats in the here and now.
Habitual worry is by its very nature difficult to detect. It may be such an unconscious part of us as to become a familiar backdrop in our daily life. However, the root of repetitive worry is rarely in the present. Rather, habitual worry resides in past actions or events, potential future pitfalls, or the derailing of best-laid plans. Whereas appropriate worry in the present moment is purposeful and focused, habitual, unconscious worry blocks us from direct contact with something greater than ourselves and compromises our ability to be whole.
Only in the present are we able to discern the true nature of worry and exercise choice over worry that diminishes us. Are you able to recognize habitual worry? Take a moment now to come inside and relax into your body. Open your awareness to any blocks that may impede a sense of flow in you. Stay with any block that represents worry and open to its root preoccupying limitation. Are you able to release this worry? Alternately, how might you transform it so that it serves you?
Our ability to recognize unwanted worry and bring it into awareness frees us to respond to what is real in the moment. We regain access to clarity of purpose and presence.
Worry and Enneagram Styles Blog
We all worry, though many of us think that this quality falls into the realm of Enneagram Sixes (most obviously the self-preservation subtype Sixes and the social subtype Sixes). In a more encompassing understanding, however, individuals of each Enneagram style have their own specific set of type-based worries. This is why, if you ask individuals who are trying to discover their enneatype whether or not they worry, many people, Sixes included, will say yes. This blog is about our type-based worries and how we can use them for our growth.
One worries | Will I get this right? Will I be fully prepared? Have I offended someone or been impolite? Will I lose control of myself? Will I feel incompetent? What if I did something wrong
Two worries | Will I be accepted? Have I hurt someone? Did I express myself too strongly or too weakly? Do I respect myself? Why am I so affected by other people’s reactions to me? Will the people I care about be OK? Who really cares about me?
Three worries | What if I can’t really do this? What if I don’t live up to expectations? How do I know what I really want (rather than what I think I should want)? Will I get found out.
Four worries | Why do I feel so continuously hurt? Why did he/she/they act that way toward me? What’s wrong with me? Why do they keep doing those things to me? I must be doing something wrong, but what is it? Why don’t they understand me?
Five worries | What do they want from me? How can I get away from this? Why am I feeling so drained and depleted? Why can’t I express myself?
Six worries | Why do I worry all the time? What should I do here? What dreadful thing might befall me? Why do I feel not fully part of things? Why do I hold onto my concerns for so long? Why do people have so many hidden agendas?
Seven worries | Why do they want to bring me down? Why am I not taken as seriously as I desire? Are they trying to trap me? How can I fill that empty hole inside me? Why don’t I seem to feel as deeply as others when I do feel deeply about some things?
Eight worries | Who is really strong enough to help or support me? What if I’m too strong? What if I’m not strong enough? What advantage will they take if I show my vulnerability? Why did they let me down?
Nine worries | What do I really think? Why was I ignored? How can I get rid of the external tension? Where is my passion? Why didn’t I say what I really thought?
Reduce Your Worry
Identify the things you worry about regularly, but even more important, understand the pattern of your worries. For example, Twos and Fours worry about people. No surprise here. Also notice when you tend to worry more often and less often. Patterns are really important. Then, use the process Gerry describes above. And continue all your deep development work with the Enneagram!