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In My Next Life

I don’t really know if there is or is not a next life, but for the sake of this blog, I’m going to assume there is.

Recently, I have unintentionally shocked and amused two different colleagues by remarking, “If I were to come back in another life and couldn’t be the same enneatype as my current one [a Two, not that I’d choose this, anyway!], I like to return as a counter-phobic 6, but a very smart one.” Both colleagues were themselves counter-phobic 6s, and they looked at me in amazement and shock, barely uttering, “But, why?!?”

Of course, I understand that there is no better or best enneatype, and that each type has it’s own ego-based issues to work through, all of them equally challenging. That wasn’t my point. Or maybe it was. Each of us has challenging issues on our path to increasing consciousness, not to mention happiness, less suffering, so if you had to pick a type other than your own to work through in the next life, which would you select.

I chose counter-phobic 6 (but smart, since all 6s are not necessarily smart!) for very specific reasons. As a 2, I have spent this life learning how to respect my mind and garner the courage to speak my voice, often, but not always, in the face of countervailing forces of authority. I think I am doing pretty OK at this point in my life, but it takes a great deal of effort and vigilance on my part to be willing to do so. I think this is what appeals to me about being a counter-phobic 6: their forward movement in the face of taking action without the same degree of hesitation as I experience in myself; a boldness and even a flare for fun and a bit of the outrageous, which I would love to have more of in my life; and the insightfulness at such a refined level (although surely I would need big lessons on differentiating insight from projection). These are all the reasons I say, “Next life, counter-phobic 6, but smart!”

Of course, I would have to also deal with the worry and anxiety and doubt that goes with type 6 (even the counter-phobic 6), which is why I think my two colleagues looked at me in amazement when I said that I might choose to be like them (both counter-phobic 6s). Of course, I have had many 6s in my life, most notably my brother and my mother. My mother was quite crazy, so perhaps she doesn’t fully count as a close exposure to 6 because I kept my distance as a protective strategy, but my brother does count, and I think he is very cool and funny. When we were much younger, I used to feel frustrated by his accusations (projections) and unnerved by his reactivity, but he’s mellowed a lot and so have I. I think he had trouble because I was just so “good.”  He probably never believed it. And now, I don’t either!

So rather than waiting for my next life, I have my next year, 2013. And I think I will invoke a bit more of counter-phobic 6 in my life.

And for you, what type would you like to be in your next life? What about engaging this part of yourself as a New Year’s gift?

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9 years ago

Hi Ginger, I’d like to be a self-pres Eight. I’m a Four with a Five wing and I admire how they just get things done without any fuss, and (as my friend is doing) amassing lots of wealth in the process. And if I had a 7 wing I’d be fun too!

Oh, and I’d be smart. 🙂

9 years ago

I believe I am a 5 am would want to come back as a 1. I see and understand 1s, and envy their ably to stand openly in their assertions and live fully in the way they perceive is right. It may not be “right” to me or others, but they believe it is so it feels like they are living authentically for themselves, something’s wish I could do.

9 years ago

Ginger, I’m a longtime reader of your blog–love your insights. I’m a 9w1 or 1w9–I think I spent most of my personal/family life as 9w1, but in my work life I definitely needed to call in the 1w9. As a writer, I’ve explored 7, to consciously try to be in 7 when possible, although it’s hard for me. The type that seems most unfathomable to me is 8, and so in my next manuscript, I’m going to work with a female 8 and see what I can learn from her. I think my husband is either an 8 or a… Read more »

9 years ago

Ginger, We often say in relationships that opposites attract. Or, more thoughtfully, we admire in a potential mate what we lack. Your feelings about counter-phobic Sixes may explain why–at least in one study–the frequent marriage of Two females to Six males occurs at a statistically significant rate.

See, http://www.9types.com/writeup/enneagram_marriages.html

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