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Enneagram Theory: Fixations (Habits of Mind) – Stinginess

This 6th blog in a series on how all of us exhibit the Fixations (Habits of Mind) normally associated with only one of the Enneagram styles now moves to Stinginess: a scarcity paradigm that leads to an insatiable thirst for knowing, a reluctance to share –knowledge, time, space, and personal information – and to strategizing about how to control one’s environment. We typically associate Stinginess with Enneagram Fives; however, all of us, not just Fives, engage in Stinginess. We are simply stingy about different kinds of things! Read on:

Enneagram Ones
Here are just some ways in which Ones engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with openness: Thinking they are the containers or “holders” of standards of perfection, judging themselves as correct and being stingy about acknowledging the opposing viewpoints of others
Stingy with appreciativeness: Thinking so much about errors and mistakes and, as a result, being stingy about offering compliments to both themselves and others
Stingy with sharing: Perceiving that when they have something that they regard as lovely and exceeding expectations, they can’t or won’t give it away to others (allow others to also have “it”) as if the value of the “precious” object is somehow lessened

Enneagram Twos
Here are just some ways in which Twos engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with acknowledgment:  Thinking that when someone has wronged them, that the other person no longer deserves anything from them and, then, being stingy about providing any further resources, attention, or acknowledgment
Stingy with self-care: Believing that they don’t deserve the kind of care that they so willingly give to others, and then becoming stingy with their own self-care
Stingy with generosity: Thinking that they are entitled to give to some people or groups and not to others (subjective-giving), while also having the false self-belief that they are actually generous to everyone

Enneagram Threes
Here are just some ways in which Threes engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with time: Thinking that their time is more valuable than the time of others
Stingy with sharing success: Believing that they must compete with others to be successful and win or they have failed
Stingy with sharing certain information about themselves: Thinking that they can’t disclose information about themselves that, in any way, would make them appear not confident or achieving

Enneagram Fours
Here are just some ways in which Fours engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with qualities, accomplishments, etc., they value: Thinking that if others have something of value, they need to have it (and even wish the other person didn’t have it)
Stingy with attention: Perceiving that they need to have the attention of others and that if someone else is receiving it, they need to either attract more focus on them or diminish this other person in some way
Stingy with self-affirmations: Thinking primarily about what is deficient in themselves, rather than their excellent qualities

Enneagram Fives
Here are just some ways in which Fives engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with resources: Thinking that the world has limited resources and that they must conserve almost everything
Stingy with interpersonal engagement: Believing that they don’t need or want to fully engage with others because the other person will drain them or want too much
Stingy with sharing: Believing that they must withhold information about themselves with almost everyone (except those select individuals who are holders of their confidences) because their privacy will be violated

Enneagram Sixes
Here are just some ways in which Sixes engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with trust: Believing that you have to be really careful about who you trust and thinking that you have to continuously “test” the integrity of others
Stingy with self- confidence: Thinking that if they constantly question themselves, somehow the best answer will emerge
Stingy with relaxing: Believing that if they relax too much or too long (or at all), something will go awry

Enneagram Sevens
Here are just some ways in which Sevens engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with slowing down: Believing that “down time” is boring and a waste of time
Stingy with patience: Thinking that others are terribly slow because they can’t follow the Seven’s line of thinking or mental pace
Stingy with introspection: Thinking that the interior world is not as fascinating or enjoyable as the external experience

Enneagram Eights
Here are just some ways in which Eights engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with sharing power: Thinking that power comes in limited amounts, so if others have it, their own power is diminished
Stingy with sharing their vulnerabilities: Believing if they share their vulnerabilities, others will take advantage of them
Stingy with their protectiveness: Thinking that they can and should protect others from abuse, but being highly selective with whom they choose to protect and not recognizing when some of their behavior can be abusive

Enneagram Nines
Here are just some ways in which Nines engage in thinking that leads to Stinginess:
Stingy with expressing their ideas: Believing what they have to say doesn’t matter as much as what others express
Stingy with acknowledging their own ambitions: Perceiving themselves as individuals who are humble and non-ambitious (even when this is not always the case)
Stingy with expressing anger: Thinking that expressing their own anger will damage or sever relationships

It is helpful to remember that Fives engage in Stingy thinking more continuously than the rest of us, but we all do it to some degree and in our own way. Understanding how we each do it can be a big wake-up call.

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