Part 11 of the series explores the Enneagram type of Jin, whose main roles in BTS are as a vocalist and a visual. The role of visual refers to someone who is, by South Korean standards, considered to be highly attractive and, thus, adds to the visual experience of the group when they are performing live or in videos. As the oldest BTS member, he was already an accomplished actor and was enrolled in the highly-regarded Konkuk University in the Department of Film and Visual Arts when he joined the group.
Kim Seokjin (Jin) Enneagram Nine| The “Peaceful” person
Although this typing is still speculative, type Nine seems like a near match from everything I could learn about Seokjin. Online, those who also commented on his Enneagram type also noted type Nine as the most likely fit.
Nines seek peace, harmony, and positive mutual regard and dislike conflict, tension, demands, and ill will. So strong is their aversion to tension and conflict, they sense it immediately, then try to rectify the situation in a variety of ways. These methods include listening to others, affirming them, and making the person feel heard; through diplomacy by trying to promote mutual understanding and tolerance of different perspectives; and through relaxing conversations and enjoyable joke sharing or storytelling.
Nine are also easygoing, accepting, inclusive and supportive of others. They often make excellent facilitators because they encourage everyone to be heard, try to find common ground when misunderstandings arise, and are highly collaborative. Nines are also conflict-avoidant, unassertive, and can be indecisive. Often, it is easier for Nines to know what they don’t want than what they do want, even over some of the smallest things such as where to go for dinner. Essentially, they want to keep the peace, keep things light-hearted and not stir up conflict. They are often the last ones to share their opinions, if they do so at all. Sometimes they don’t actually know what they think at the moment. At other times, Nines want to hear what others think before they say something. They can then say something in a way that agrees with at least some others.
One of the ways Nines keep the peace is to promote harmony within groups and between others. They do this by being approachable and getting along easily with a variety of different people. To that end, they tend to be non-judgmental, at least externally; they are extremely sensitive to tension, feeling it somatically or within their own bodies; and try to reduce this uncomfortable feeling/sensation whenever possible.
Quotes from Seokjin about His Philosophy of Life
“I like to go with the flow.”
“You should always smile in life.”
“I’m easy to talk to.”
“I hate it when there’s a serious atmosphere. When people are too serious, I always try to lift the mood”
“Prejudice should not be tolerated; it really has no place.”
“Everything becomes a bad thing when you think negative. When you think positive, it becomes better.”
What other BTS members say about Seokjin (Hyung refers to someone like an older sibling or older friend and is used as a sign of respect)
RM: “When we’re with strangers, if Jin hyung says light jokes, the mood lights up really well. He’s really good with ice-breaking.”
Jimin: “He is one of the two members with the trait of being a mood-maker.” “He has always been taking care of us so I want to [say] thank you to him a lot.”
V: “He heals us and makes us laugh.” “I like Jin’s positive attitude. His bright energy makes others have positive attitudes. Energizer!”
Suga: “Jin is the human energy drink.”
J-Hope: “He plays the most important role of maintaining the team together. I think he gives us strength.”
Jung Kook: “Jin used to be an ordinary guy in the team, but he’s the mood-maker now. He’s the most wicked and funniest of all.”
General Description of Seokjin
While RM (Kim Namjoon) is often referred to as functioning as the “father” of BTS, Kim Seokjin is called the “mom” of the group because he provides nurturance, guidance, and support for all of them, and especially the younger members, V, Jimin and Jung Kook. He’s been described as “keeping the group under control but not through hierarchy, which he could do because he is the oldest member.” Instead, he does this is a more typical type Nine way: “He is like a mother hen who is always taking care that order is preserved. Even, I’ve also seen videos where the members look at him as if asking permission to do some things, and he discreetly gives them his approval; he’s very nice to watch.”
Even more, the way Seokjin does this is also classic Nine: a focus on the group or team, then on the individuals within it. It’s said that he “Keeps the group together like glue.” But what is the glue he uses? Seokjin, as is common in Nines, does a number of things that generate goodwill and group harmony plus create a light-hearted, accepting, and inclusive atmosphere. The most obvious is his warm, approachable, and optimistic style. He has developed loving relationships with each individual BTS member and the group as a whole. It is obvious that he cares about each of them and will put the group needs above his own. It’s been said that he “watches out for everyone” to make sure they’re OK, and whether on stage or informally, if a team member looks distressed in any way, Seokjin seems to sense this and approaches them with a full embrace and a deeply warm smile.
Another way Seokjin has consistently shown his care for BTS as a team and its individual members is through his cooking. He loves to cook, is quite skilled at it, and began cooking for BTS members early on, even pre-debut. They were all living in one dorm room, many of them had limited financial resources, and they were all teenagers. In addition, they were in school, but were also practicing (music and choreography) for hours each day. In this context, what a delight to have many of their meals homemade and well-prepared. Food brings people together, and good food does this even more. In a sense, it is the ultimate way of nurturing. Unconditional positive regard, a type Nine’s strength, combined with the nurturance of food, Seok-Jin’s hobby, provided just what BTS needed to create group harmony, synergy and well-being.
Seokjin has also nurtured both individual and subsets of BTS members, especially the younger members, V, Jimin and Jung Kook. A telling story is how Seokjin provided special support to BTS’ youngest member, Jung Kook. According to Jung Kook, “I had times where I was thinking about giving up and just returning to Busan [where JK was from] but Jin Hyung took me to his parents, treated me like his real dongsaeng [younger sibling] and made me love this city [Seoul] so I stayed.” It is also commonly known that Seokjin regularly “made JK’s lunch and drove the young Jung Kook back and forth to school.” Seokjin is also known to get very playful with the youngest BTS members, engaging in silly antics almost as if he is one of them. He joins them in an affectionate way, yet he can also step into his role as the eldest BTS member and helps keep the Maknae (youngest) trio from being too rambunctious when it does not serve the team. Enneagram Nines are often quite adept at maintaining unity, perceiving and accepting different people and ways of being, and helping everyone feel included and an important part of the whole.
Enneagram Nines: Use of Humor
Nines like to keep environments and relationships positive with minimal unease, and Seokjin uses an abundance of humor to reduce tension and lighten the atmosphere. By his own admission, he likes to make others laugh, and other BTS members credit him with also being adept at breaking the ice with strangers.
Seokjin is well-known for his abundance of and frequent use of “dad jokes.” “Dad jokes” are jokes that are sometimes puns (word plays) or involve one simple statement (“one-liners”), but they come in many forms. Fathers often use them to amuse others, and his jokes can elicit laughs, groans (as in, do I really have to listen to this), or no response at all. Here are two actual examples from what appears to be a vast supply of Seokjin’s “dad jokes”:
Seokjin question: What can’t you have in the morning?
Seokjin answer: Lunch and dinner
Seokjin question: Do you know why, whenever I’m sad, I read my blood donor identification card?
Seokjin answer: Because it always says B positive.
Nines also make amusing remarks, even self-deprecating ones. Here are three examples from Seokjin’s repertoire:
“Sometimes I talk to myself, and we both laugh.”
“I like nonsense; it wakes up your brain cells.”
“When something is delicious, it has zero calories.”
When Seokjin makes a joke, he typically laughs while he is telling the joke or sometimes directly afterward, accompanied by the words “HaHaHa.” Sometimes, he indicates how funny he thinks the joke is by laughing and simultaneously slapping his thigh as if indicating ”That was so good or so funny.”
Why do Nines like Seokjin tell jokes or make amusing comments so often? There are so many reasons beyond an effort to raise the optimism level. First, telling jokes relaxes Nines themselves, plus laughing generates the feel-good hormones: endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin. These hormones also promote social bonding, which is what Nines thrive on. Joke-telling is also a way to break down barriers between people, especially in new or potentially awkward situations such as when no one is talking or knows quite what to say. Jokes can also lighten the atmosphere when there is conflict or tension. Jokes can also be used to distract from serious conversations, and Nines prefer to keep conversations lighter than heavier. In addition, joking around can be a way of expressing displeasure or anger without doing so directly. They may levy a joke or comment and then say, “But I was only joking” when, in fact, there was a meta-message in the joke.
Struggles with Self-Expression, Self-Assertion and Expressing Anger
Although joke telling does have many benefits, as well as some issues, Nines also tell jokes as a way to express and assert themselves as well as to express anger. Nines are sometimes referred to as “having anger that went to sleep.” What this means is that Nines have issues with feeling and expressing their own anger because to do so, in their view, risks conflict between them and others, thus eroding the relational harmony they most desire. As a result, Nines put their “anger to sleep” by unconsciously reducing their body (somatic) awareness. If they don’t have somatic cues that they are angry, they don’t know they’re angry and then they don’t need to acknowledge or express it.
Seokjin knows that expressing his anger is a challenge. In his own words: “What is difficult for me is when I am upset. Sometimes I get angry but I am not very convincing. If I have small concerns, I just try to forget about them as soon as I can. It’s better that I am cheerful. It’s better to always get along with members, making jokes. They listen to my concerns without feeling pressured and they can talk to me more easily.”
When Nines put their “anger to sleep” by way of turning down their somatic cues, the body then minimizes all body cues and limits a Nine’s awareness of self. Fear, joy, sorrow, in addition to anger, are also minimized. Without easy access to their emotional responses, it’s difficult to know what they feel or what they want. As a result, self-expression and self-assertion become difficult. Another result is to be self-discounting and self-deprecating. As Seokjin himself says, “I do struggle with self-doubt and downplay my expertise and value of my insights. Being self-effacing has helped in life, but I think it can also hurt.”
Enneagram Nines: Numbing and Merging
Nines try to get along with everyone if they can and to do this, they tend to go along with what other people want. Doing so reduces tension, both their own internal tension and tensions between themselves and others. In Enneagram language, the way Nines most often do this, in addition to being less in touch with their own somatic and emotional responses, is through “narcotization.” This term does not mean they are literally on some sort of narcotic. Instead, it refers to different ways Nines numb themselves or merge with something else as a way of not tuning into themselves. They numb themselves by engaging in pleasant, often repetitive activities, as a way of comforting themselves when distressed. Nines typically do this when they or upset or angry, when they are supposed to do something they don’t want to do, or when they don’t know how to do something.
Seokjin describes this himself: “The way I recharge is simple. I have three ways. Either I eat, play games, or sleep.” “When I eat, I feel happy and everyone looks like angels.” What he also does to relax or recharge is one of his favorite activities: fishing. For Nines, the point of fishing isn’t necessarily how many fish they catch or how big the fish. The point is the relaxation they experience while fishing.
A 2021 Singapore Vogue interview with Seokjin says this: “A typical day off for Jin goes something like this: he falls asleep after playing computer games until 5 am and finally wakes up at 2 pm. Then he stays in bed and stares blankly at the ceiling for about three hours, occasionally checking his phone or turning on the TV and flipping through the channels. Eventually, he sits in front of the computer again, and he eats something when hunger strikes. After eating, he feels drowsy and heads back to bed. To borrow Jin’s expression, this is a day that is ‘excessively lazy, and that some might say is a bit pathetic’.”
However, his behavior is neither lazy nor pathetic. It is simply a description of the way in which Jin, if he is an Enneagram Nine, relaxes and recalibrates. When Nines are doing their favorite comforting activities, they lose track of time and submerge themselves so thoroughly, referred to as merging, that what might have distressed them is minimized or eliminated.
Enneagram Nines: Collections
Another way Nines merge with something and, in this sense, relax and don’t pay attention to what is occurring within them, is through their collections. Just because someone collects things does not make them a Nine, yet almost all Nines collect items, and they often have multiple collections that are emotionally important to them. In fact, they experience their collections as a source of comfort and joy. What do Nines collect? Whatever makes their heart sing!
My Nine ex-husband, although he was not at all religious, used to collect crosses, in all different shapes and sizes. He said looking at them made him feel good. He also collected anything in the alligator/crocodile genre except not the real thing. This collection started with a gold alligator necklace and over the years, he had either bought or was gifted nearly 200 items: staplers, ashtrays, pins, salad servers, rings, glasses and more. He also had collections of books by authors he loved, and he had to have every book by that author. He actually read them, had them on a shelf, and would never lend them; otherwise, the collection would be broken up.
A female friend, also a Nine, said she had no collections, but then I visited her home. She had about 30+ ceramic owls in her kitchen shelf, each with its own special place. Although she insisted it was not a collection, it was. In her mind, a collection needed over 100 items to qualify. However, with a Nine and their collections, it’s not the quantity. It has to do with how they feel about the items as a whole. It’s comforting, they merge with their collections, and these have great sentimental value to them.
What are Seokjin’s collections, from what I could observe or read? Here’s a list: sunglasses, cars, Super Mario, Maples Story, Nintendo, the Italian video game “plumber,” plushies (soft and squishy animals cartoon characters and more), KAWS collectibles, and there are likely additional collections.
He often wears items from his sunglass collection on stage. Typically, they are amusing in appearance such as googly eyes, pirate glasses complete with pirate hat and eye-patch, oversize silver glasses with large silver balls that bob around when he moves, funky light blue glasses with rhinestones, and clown or jester glasses. He wears them to make people laugh, while he simultaneously laughs or makes a serious or dead-pan face, which adds to the humorous impact.
Seokjin also collects cars: a Mercedes S-class, an Aston Martin, a Lamborghini, a Rolls Royce, a Porsche and a Mini Countryman, and there are likely more. What makes these a collection is the sentimental value they hold. He customizes and personalizes each car to make them his own. The point of all these collections, whether expensive cars or inexpensive toys, is primarily the pleasure in having them and the memories they contain.
Seokjin’s Speaking Style
Seokjin’s speaking style is highly consistent with Enneagram Nines. He has a “soft lilting speaking voice.” I often describe the Nine’s voice as sounding like honey without a great deal of animation or variations in inflection. Seokjin’s voice sounds pretty much the same no matter what he is saying. His voice is also described as having a “playful yet confident tone,” and he punctuates his remarks with distinctive squeaks of laughter (once described as “the sound glass makes when being cleaned”).
Seokjin is known for being able to “say delicate things without offending” and “when angry, he doesn’t lash out, but says things like ‘Those words could hurt’.” This way of communicating is typical of most Nines. When they do bring up issues, it is not in a way that the other person feels attacked or criticized. He uses “language designed to keep people laughing and to not take anything too seriously.”
Other descriptions of “Seokjin’s speaking style in Korean do not necessarily reflect Enneagram Nine’s way of communicating, but they are interesting. He apparently, “speaks in a bit of an old-fashioned way,” frequently “uses puns,” and “rarely uses slang.” This may have more to do with his family background and upbringing than his Enneagram type.
However, he often says “you know?” at the end of a sentence. Using “you know” is called a filler word in a sentence and can have multiple functions and meanings. It can be an indirect request for confirmation of something. It can also indicate embarrassment or anxiety from the speaker. Sometimes it is simply a filler word giving the speaker time to consider what to say next. Seokjin frequently introduces himself with the moniker “world-wide handsome” followed by “you know?” Although Seokjin was initially hired as a BTS visual for his handsomeness, this self-designated nickname is meant as a joke, with the words “you know” meant to emphasize the humor. As he says, “I gave myself [the name] ‘worldwide handsome.’ It’s a nickname that I came up with during an interview. Even I find it a little embarrassing to say, but many people like it, although I’m not actually worldwide handsome.”
Seokjin’s Non-Verbal Behavior
If Seokjin is an Enneagram Nine, which seems likely, his non-verbal behavior is consistent with this Enneagram type. Apparently, his “ears turn red when he gets direct attention, different from doing something to divert attention from other members who appear to want attention at that moment.” On the one hand, Nines do not like too much attention placed on them as individuals, although group attention is much easier for them. On the other hand, Nines do like to be acknowledged and noticed, just not for too long a period of time.
Seokjin also smiles frequently as is true of almost all Nines. They tend to be optimistic, plus they want to be approachable. People who smile and appear sincere are often perceived as more relatable. He also acts silly or goofy and plays around a lot, particularly with the younger BTS members, V, Jimin and Jung Kook. In a Singapore Vogue (2021) interview, Seokjin was asked this question: “What is the most important thing in your life?” His answer: To make sure I’m happy. I always goof around. I feel happy when I goof around. Others smile and that makes me feel good.” For Nines, keeping people happy and harmonious is paramount, so being silly can be one of the multiple methods they use.
Finally, Seokjin blows or throws kisses to his audience when he introduces himself during interviews and onstage. He sometimes accompanies the kisses with eye winks, two fingers (or an open palm minus his thumb) to his mouth that then quickly moving forward toward the camera or audience, or with the hand expression of his thumb crossed over his index finger that indicates love or affection. With great sincerity, he likes to non-verbally express his love for ARMY, the BTS fanbase. Although all BTS members express their gratitude and love for ARMY, most do so verbally, while Seokjin does this more often non-verbally. For Nines, the non-verbal expression of feelings can come more easily than the words themselves.
Challenges for Enneagram Nines
Enneagram Nines, like all Enneagram types, have type-specific challenges. The first is to believe that they really matter, just as much as anyone and everyone else. They need to matter to themselves, most of all. Because Nines want everything to be comfortable and tension-free, they, in a sense, go to sleep in relation to themselves: their bodies, their desires and preferences, their opinions, and more. Compounding this is their tendency to merge with others, particularly those they like and find positive, as a way of relating. In doing this blending with another, almost as if becoming them, Nines lose touch with what is occurring inside themselves.
The second area for Nines to work with is to acknowledge, feel and express their anger. Over-expressed anger, of course, is not the solution and can be harmful. However, acknowledged and self-regulated anger is an important human emotion and can be highly productive. Anger helps us say “No” when we need to and to set clear boundaries between ourselves and other people. Anger is also a form of vitality, when accessed effectively, that helps us move in a forward direction. Anger also helps us stand up for our principles, for ourselves and for others when we’ve been violated.
Simple, Powerful Development for Enneagram Nines
Rumi Poem
“You must ask for what you want
Don’t go back to sleep
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep”
Welcome your anger as an ally
Instead of avoiding and submerging your anger, explore it. Start by recognizing that feeling angry and dealing with conflict directly, yet respectfully, can bring people closer together and create a deep level of harmony and mutual respect. Next, explore your own anger. Where do you experience it in your body? What occurred that you feel angry about? Who are you angry with? Take the opportunity to share your concerns directly with the other person.
Express your opinions and preferences directly and early
Do you know what you want? What is it? Do you know what you don’t want? What is that? Finally, express your wants and preferences directly and early on. This may surprise others because they are not used to you doing that, but they will get used to it and may even like it. Notice if you are making a joke or smiling when your desire is of a more serious nature. Joking and smiling can undercut your message which could contribute to people not truly hearing what you mean and say.
Watch Seokjin’s music video
Here: Experience the soulful side of Seokjin in his solo performance of “Epiphany” (2018).
About Ginger
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, author of nine Enneagram books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications. TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com
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