What stands in the way of our not feeling we are enough as we are, the shadows to our sunshine, are core fears related to our Enneagram types. Acknowledging and facing these fears, then adding new insights and behaviors help us step forward and upward.
Ones | the fear of imperfection
When the fear of imperfection, both in yourself and in others, drives so much of your behavior, thoughts and feelings, how can you ever really feel you are enough as you are? When you think things can always be or do better and can always improve, how can you ever feel good enough just as you are? What if you could believe this: No need to be concerned about being perfect because I am fine and enough just as I am now. As I grow and develop, I’ll still be fine and enough.
Twos | the fear of not being love-worthy
When the fear of not being love-worthy defines what you do, how you feel, and what you think, how can you ever feel worthy enough of love? When you believe you must consistently tune into others and provide what they want and need to prove your own value, how will you ever tune into yourself to take care of your own wants and needs so you feel you are enough? What if you could believe this: I love myself deeply and truly and so I am enough just as I am.
Threes | the fear of being useless
When the fear of being useless or idle makes you stay in perpetual forward motion to prove your value to yourself and others based on what you can do or accomplish, how can you ever rest and “be,” knowing you are good enough just as you are? When you believe you cannot let down your guard or mask and are only as good as your last performance or achievement, how can you ever feel you are good enough? What if you could believe this: All I need to do to feel I am enough is go inside myself and ask, then answer these questions: What am I feeling right now? What do I really, deeply want? In addition to what I do, who am I at a deeper level?
Fours | the fear of being hurt
When the fear of being hurt scares you so much that you avoid almost all circumstances where you imagine you could get hurt because you continuously question whether or not you are enough, how can you ever feel you are intrinsically good enough? When you spend your energy trying to figure out what makes you different from others (or special or deficient) such that you often end up feeling not-good-enough, how can you ever trust that you are good enough just as you are? What if you could believe this: I am special just like everyone else is special in his or her own way, and I am enough as I am!
Fives | the fear of ultimate depletion
When the fear of ultimate depletion and exhaustion keeps you conserving what you have and restricting yourself mentally, physically and emotionally, how can you feel like you are enough? In making yourself smaller than you actually are and disconnecting from large parts of yourself (particularly your heart and body), how can you feel as if you are enough? What if you could believe this: There is so much more of me to access and use as a resource that I am actually enough right now and I don’t even know it. I can allow myself to fill all my potential space.
Sixes | the fear of catastrophe
When the fear that everything could go wrong and the doubt that either you or others are up to the potential challenges that loom ahead, how can you ever feel as if you are enough? When you go headlong into what scares you or engage in some other risky behavior to prove you are not afraid as a way to mask your fear, how can you ever truly believe and trust that you are enough? What if you could believe this: I am richly resourced internally and incredibly insightful, so there is no need to worry that I am not enough. I am!
Sevens | the fear of not being whole or complete
When the fear of not being whole or complete or full as a person drives your behavior and you substitute stimulation and positive possibilities for the exploration of your inner journey, how can you ever feel as if you are enough as your are? When you run away from anything that feels limiting or from your deeper emotional responses to what occurs, how can you feel as if you are enough? What if you could believe this: I am neither more nor less than enough. All I need to do is to access my interior world as much as I respond to stimulation from the outside to learn that I truly am enough just as I am.
Eights | the fear of not being invincible
When the fear of not being strong, tough, big and invincible propels you forward to take big action as a way to hide your vulnerability, how can you ever feel as if you are enough? When you go into denial when you feel sad and fearful by not sharing this with yourself and/or others, how can you ever know that you really are enough, and this includes your softer sides? What if you could believe this: I am enough when I allow myself to be in touch with my soft, sweet, and tender inner world as well as my capable and “take charge” exterior, for this combination is the source of true strength.
Nines | the fear of being visible
When the fear of being visible and “showing up” or being alert and conscious drives you to take a second-seat and not speak up when you have something to say, how can you really feel that you are enough? When your need to make sure others are being heard and being treated as if they are enough or as if they matter, but you minimize yourself in the process, how can you feel as if you are enough? What if you could believe this: I actually am enough; I just need to show this more to myself and to others by stepping forward energetically and behaviorally.
Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of five best-selling Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs for professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit her website: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com. email@example.com