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Enneagram Styles and Enthusiasm

Gayle Hardie has written a provocative insight this month, which you can read at the start of this blog. I’ve written that the “don’ts” are how we respond to the things outside of ourselves; the “dos” are what we have control over if we choose to do so!

Enthusiasm is seeing the potential, exploring the possibilities, bringing energy and vitality to situations and finding a way forward.When I find myself in situations where it would be very easy to lay the blame on others for all the things that don’t go as planned, don’t succeed, don’t happen, don’t change, don’t go my way or the right way, don’t have an ending, don’t have everyone’s commitment or don’t make sense, I reflect on the above statement and choose a different path.

As you read all those “don’ts,” how did you start to feel?  Less and less enthusiastic is often the response I get from others when I ask that question.  It can be incredibly draining to remain “below the line” in blame, experiencing all of the things that “don’t work.”

Adding enthusiasm to the mix of responses can get us back up above the line and taking personal responsibility in exploring what is possible.  How might we see enthusiasm in you

Enneagram Ones | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t make mistakes
Don’t do anything improper or rude
Don’t lose control of yourself
Don’t try something “outside the box” unless you know it will work
Don’t engage with people who are irresponsible or lazy

Experimental “Dos”
Do play more
Do be spontaneous
Do try at least one new thing each day
Do laugh at your own mistakes
Do allow yourself to be “in the moment”

Enneagram Twos | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t do anything embarrassing to yourself
Don’t do anything embarrassing to others
Don’t do anything you’ll feel guilty about later
Don’t get angry with anyone unless you don’t care about them at all
Don’t do anything that will make you feel like you are not a “good” person

Experimental “Dos”
Do allow yourself to express your own thoughts and feelings as they emerge
Do permit yourself to do one thing each day simply because you want to
Do tell yourself that it is fine just to be yourself
Do identify your own dreams
Do follow these dreams

Enneagram Threes | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t do anything that makes you look bad
Don’t do anything that makes you look unconfident
Don’t try something you might fail at doing
Don’t share your real feelings with very many people
Don’t hang around with people who don’t appear successful

Experimental “Dos”
Do allow yourself to consider what you really want and enjoy, rather than what you think you should desire
Do give yourself permission to spend time getting to know yourself at a much deeper level
Do try something new each week that you might fail at: you might not fail and you might enjoy it and so what!
Do share a deeper level of personal information with people around you
Do take the time to be with yourself and with others in a meaningful way

Enneagram Fours | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t do anything causes you to feel humiliated
Don’t do say anything that could sever relationships with others
Don’t expect to get your needs met, so be prepared to suffer or fight
Don’t assume others will accept you for who you are
Don’t expect anyone to truly understand you

Experimental “Dos”
Do look for all the simple joys in the world and enjoy them
Do allow yourself to uncover your real feelings, not just the ones that instantly appear
Do consider the idea that every moment lasts forever and everything is impermanent, allowing space for newness to emerge
Do take time to relax every day and every hour
Do acknowledge that even frivolous things can be fun to experience

Enneagram Fives | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t give away more than you can spare
Don’t ever get into a situation of depletion
Don’t truly share yourself with others
Don’t expect anyone else to fulfill your needs
Don’t put yourself in new situations where demands may be placed on you

Experimental “Dos”
Do something spontaneous and silly each day, just for yourself
Do something spontaneous and silly each day in front of others
Do give away something you’ve always thought you needed to keep and experience what occurs
Do share more of yourself with increasing numbers of people
Do act as if there is actually abundance in the world

Enneagram Sixes | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t be unprepared
Don’t be disloyal
Don’t do anything “bad”
Don’t foolishly count on others
Don’t get yourself in trouble with authority figures

Experimental “Dos”
Do something fun each day
Do realize you have choices about whether to be reactively active or reactively passive
Do give yourself permission not to have to be the one to jump in and save people
Do relax 75% more than you normally do
Do trust your gut even more than your head

Enneagram Sevens | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t allow anyone to limit you
Don’t worry when you can be happy
Don’t let anyone ignore you
Don’t stay too long with feelings of discomfort or sadness
Don’t get bored

Experimental “Dos”
Do recognize that your internal processes – feelings, patterns of thought, choices of behavior – are far more interesting than any external stimuli
Do realize you almost always have choices, but having to always have all choices available is choosing nothing
Do appreciate every small step you take toward being more and more focused
Do learn to be patient with people, and especially with yourself
Do trust your heart as much as your head

Enneagram Eights | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t be dependent on anyone
Don’t show any vulnerability
Don’t feel too good or you will be let down
Don’t ask anyone for support directly
Don’t really count on anyone except yourself

Experimental “Dos”
Do allow yourself to ask for guidance and support
Do give yourself yourself to go into your heart like a child
Do permit your deeper sweetness to show
Do allow yourself to feel vulnerable
Do honor your deepest innocence

Enneagram Nines | Don’ts to Dos
Common “Don’ts”
Don’t experience your own feelings too deeply
Don’t share what you really think directly
Don’t share what you really feel with yourself or anyone else
Don’t let anyone try to control your actions
Don’t honor your own abilities

Experimental “Dos”
Do go inward and explore what you think and feel
Do recognize that your voice matters
Do express your talents directly, rather than waiting for others to notice
Do what you really want to do, and do it with full awakeness

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Enenagram Life | Adrienne

Not sure if this is me at all “Don’t do anything “bad”

Totally get this one.. “Do relax 75% more than you normally do” There is no help…. I think when I’m dead I will relax… I can be in the middle of a holiday and my tummy would still be in knots! But I hear yoga is really great for sixes, well everyone..

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