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Development | letting go of control

“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go” ~ Rumi

Each of the 9 Enneagram types has its own way of exerting control when letting go would actually best foster growth and development.

ONE

Ones exert the most control by controlling themselves through rules and self-critiques, controlling their environment with a high degree of structuring, and controlling others through disapproval. Is that really getting you what you want?

TWO

Twos exert the most control by orchestrating what others should do, by unintentionally causing others to feel guilty, and by controlling their emotional express via repressing their feelings. Is that really getting you what you want?

THREE

Threes exert the most control by planning how to achieve their targeted goals and locking down their minds through the creating of plans. Is that really getting you what you want?

FOUR

Fours exert the most control by over-identifying with their own feelings and not allowing positive feedback to enter their cellular systems. Is that really getting you what you want?

FIVE

Fives exert the most control by setting absolute boundaries around themselves and not letting others in. Is that really getting you what you want?

SIX

Sixes exert the most control by over-anticipation and planning, not trusting others, and either not taking risks that would benefit them or taking risks too large with potentially dire consequences. Is that really getting you what you want?

SEVEN

Sevens exert the most control by not being still or settled, physically, mentally and emotionally. Is that really getting you what you want?

EIGHT

Eights exert the most control by stepping in too soon and with too much energy. Is that really getting you what you want?

NINE

Nines exert the most control by not knowing or stating what they think or want directly and by not letting others control them, even for a micro-second. Is that really getting you what you want?

 

Ginger Lapid-Bogda PhD, the author of seven Enneagram-business books, is a speaker, consultant, trainer, and coach. She provides certification programs and training tools for business professionals around the world who want to bring the Enneagram into organizations with high-impact business applications, and is past-president of the International Enneagram Association. Visit: TheEnneagramInBusiness.com | ginger@theenneagraminbusiness.com

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Don norrisleighah Beadle-DarcyNora Keefer Recent comment authors
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Nora Keefer
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Nora Keefer

Thank you. As an 8 I’m inviting all my other friend types to critique themselves as often and as fairly as they critique us 8s for this very human quality. Justice is my jam. You gave me yummy peanut-butter.

leighah Beadle-Darcy
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leighah Beadle-Darcy

Another concise and to the point, brilliant article, Ginger :-). I’m guilty of a whole lot of 1,2 and 3, with a fair dose of 7 thrown in and done energy of 8 😉
My core type is 2w3
Warm wishes,
Leighah Beadle – Darcy.

Don norris
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Don norris

I object to psychology (any form) being used in the work place. The purpose of psychology is to help people to change their lives for the better and in treating mental illness – not to increase a corporation’s bottom line. No matter how you spin it, industrial – organizational psychology is a technique of controlling the work force in a way that benefits the employer by exploiting the strengths and weaknesses of their workforce.

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